I've been waiting since August of 2011

I became a Homestuck in May of 2011.
I've been an avid fan ever since.
However, I've had one flaw:
I stopped reading the comic in August of 2011.

I relied on spoilers, reading the suspicious wiki, fanart, and role playing to gain my information.
I've gotten farther than many people could even think about.
The comic has become a part of my life that I can't ever let go of now.
It's shaped me into who I am.

That shaping came with the acceptance of my fear.
I feared reading Homestuck again.
I was scared, after learning what was to come, about what I would encounter.
So I stopped.

I was scared of reading the deaths of my favorite characters,
About the devastation and intense plot twists I'd encounter.
I didn't even know when I would pick up the comic next.
Never a calendar date, never a time I followed through.

Over a year passed. I said I'd start reading in the summer of 2012, then weekends, short breaks, Winter Break. Nothing ever happened.
Until now.

I got over my fear gradually, by memorizing, studying, reciting the comic.
I analyzed it, but had fun with it.
I expanded my personal and social lives with it.
Hell, I sound overly obsessed.

Now, in 2013, knowing the end was to come soon, I vowed to start again.
I would test myself with anxiety assessments months before, until I didn't react. (I seriously treated this super seriously.)
Eventually, this time came.
I knew I was ready.

In January, I finished a huge section of the game I play.
In February, I said I'd stop and trade it for Homestuck.
Well, maybe not trade, but close.
So guess what?

On February 8, 2013, a very special update happened. (sorry for spoilers)
The Alpha kids achieved God Tier. All 4 of them.
That marked the start. I couldn't take it anymore.
This was the day I had to start reading again.

On February 8, 2013, this specific day, I told my friends my plan.
After knowing me for so long, not willing to read, I told them all I would.
So I clicked my salvaged "Current Homestuck Page" bookmark I got from my PC...
And I read.

I read starting from page 3808, until the End of Act 4.
I passed through Descend without flipping out.
I read all the overviews without any negative consequences.
I actually conquered my fear.

Now, I know, this sounds like it's nothing.
It's just a webcomic; it shouldn't affect me like this.
I'm overreacting, I'm just a crazed fan..
But think about this:

If there's something that's scaring you, something that's preventing you from going on in life,
Isn't it worth it to tackle those fears?
As little as it may be,
Baby steps are what lead to walking.

If I can get over one of my greatest fears, reading Homestuck,
I can get over any milestone I come across.
(Well, let me rephrase that.
It'll take time, but eventually, I will.)

So, as I end my random 4-line stanza'd journal,
I'll say these last few lines:

I'm vowing to keep the life inside my head,
the alternate reality that helped me achieve this goal.
I'm vowing to conquer my fears,
however long it may take to do so.
I'm vowing to tackle obstacles I have yet to deal with.
(due to the fact I'm a horrible procrastinator).
I'm vowing to look positively whenever I can,
to control my emotions and prevent any harm.
I'm vowing to be someone different,
looking at life at another angle.
I'm vowing to cherish what I have,
and to be grateful for whatever I receive.
I'm vowing to forever be a Homestuck,
for never before has anything changed my life as this has.

Most importantly, I'll say this:
I'm vowing to continue reading Homestuck, from today until it ends.